My Pearl

So... here I go. 365 days of sharing the gospel. I'm excited, nervous, a bit scared. But why? Why does the main thing I was called to do as a believer scare me. My roommate so graciously reminded me that "we have an enemy that comes to steal, kill, and destroy us". As a believer, I can never be ultimately destroyed by my enemy, but the biggest way that he can "destroy" me is make me ineffective, useless, forget my purpose, and become lazy and apathetic toward my God, my Savior, and my Love. I see this happening in my life, and it makes me sick to see that the one thing that truly brings me life, is a topic, a person that I only talk of with my Christian friends, with the people who I feel understand me, my struggles, my God. But I do not share Him with the lost, the hurting the very people Jesus came to save. If He "came to seek and save that which was lost" then why am I not doing the same?? Why do I continue to tell myself the lame excuses that my actions should speak louder than my words, and that I should be "Jesus in skin" to people. Yes, my actions should reflect the change in my heart... but where are the words? how will people know if they do not hear?? On the outside, I do the same work as a humanitarian, a social worker, a good person. But I know I am different because I have the Spirit of the Living God inside me. But I say nothing...I may say "God bless you", or "Jesus loves you"... But what about, "Do you know Jesus? He died for you so you would not have to keep living in fear, living in sin, living in self-righteousness. HE IS THE ONLY WAY TO ETERNAL LIFE!" Why do I not shout this from the rooftops?? I will not live in state of being spiritually mute anymore. I can't. I must tell. I must go. I must share.